Oh the Things We Found

some lyrics from my new song:

Oh the things we found along the way

Unless we believe them, they'll never be safe

Vast seas roll, tides and time won't be delayed

While the moon rules our bodies and all of our weight

Our secrets sleep in winter clothes

In honor of the first day of spring, here are some of my favorite winter memories, in random order.

Discovering 17 Frost.   There is a big difference between Manhattan open mics and Brooklyn open mics.  And an even bigger difference between regular Brooklyn open mics and awesome warehouses that you stumble across that no one really knows about with amazing sound equipment, projectors, screens, couches, and an art gallery.  Not only do the people actually care about sound there, they are supportive of a lot of different types of music and I feel so lucky that I have gotten to showcase my sound there without having to wait over 4 hours to play just two songs. 
Snowball fight 2010.  This was the first time I'd been involved in three consecutive snowball fights with perfect strangers.  The night of the big blizzard, Chad, Dustin, Garrison, Angie, and I ventured out to McCarren Park where there were giant snowmen, an igloo, and a lot of Brooklynites just waiting to throw snow around at random people. 
Cinderella.  My first lead in a musical since 2001.  I did come out here for a reason!  I love moments that prove that. 
Mark's Dinner Party.  (picture on right)  Delicious five course tasting menu provided by Cristina and Mark.  I didn't even hear one fight --I think they need to open a restaurant together!  And thanks to Mark's eclectic music taste, we had a dance party that involved Ace of Base and plenty of Disney. 
Christmas in Williamsburg.  This was our first Christmas in New York.  My parents (being the supportive, good sports that they are) flew out to see my holiday show and spend Christmas with Chad, Garrison and me.  Supportive, because it was the Tortoise and the Hare's Holiday Hoop-la (not the most riveting show I've ever done) and good sports because they ran 1 avenue block and 5 street blocks in record time to see Mary Poppins when the cab driver dropped us at the wrong intersection.  I loved having everyone at the apartment and just being together.  It was a much different feeling than spending Christmas in a big house where everyone is sort of spread out.  We opened our presents at night with all of the candles lit and I'll never forget that feeling of peacefulness that I had.   
New Years Party.  We all wrote down one thing we would leave behind and one thing we would take with us into the new year on slips of paper.  Then at midnight we burned them in Cristina's makeshift "fire bowl" on the roof of our apartment.  It started out with just the people from our party (which was an unexpected amount anyway) and ended up getting the attention of all of the parties on the roof.  We knew it was time to hide the fire bowl when someone asked if she could throw fireworks into it.  Mark, being the protective fire marshall he is, persuaded the girl into thinking that was not the best idea...haha.  Even though I wasn't able to fully play Auld Lang Syne on my guitar for everyone by the time it reached midnight, it was a grand Brooklyn New Years. 

First song for Hansel and Gretel is done! Listen at www.sparrowtree.org!

Witches Have Red Eyes, the third song in Hansel and Gretel, has now been completed! At this point, it’s the only song in the show to be mixed and recorded and ready for people to hear! One of my favorite musicians/singer/songwriters is Zach Condon of the group, Beirut. A lot of the music for this show is inspired by his sound. I am so grateful to the SparrowTree members for really pulling together and making this happen. It just wouldn’t have been the same without their help and passion for the project. This was truly a collaborative process, from Chad mixing to Dustin singing and Garrison playing the djembe.

Last Monday we all drove an hour out of the city to a forest to film some footage to go with the song. We were all freezing and looked rather insane I’m sure running through the forest (with Angie in her hooded witch cloak -- long, brown and tattered, Dustin in his knickers and knee socks, and Garrison running around chanting with a tambourine). We were all freezing by the end, but the finished product will be totally worth it. The video will be the next thing to go up on the site, so be sure to check back! This song is a great example of collaboration and teamwork and I’m so proud that we made it happen. Thank you SparrowTree!

A poem that inspired many songs

Tonight I was going through one of my notebooks. In college, I had a professor who always told us to write everything down, even if it might seem silly, just to get it out. Years later, I actually started doing this. I always used to hate writing things down. And if I did write things down, I would never go back and read them. But when I moved to New York, it was like I had no choice. This city pulls things out of you. This was a poem I fell in love with and wrote in my first "New York" notebook. Looking back at it now, I realize it has inspired many songs.

When I woke up I was in a forest.
The dark seemed natural, the sky through the pine trees thick with many lights.
I knew nothing; I could do nothing but see.
And as I watched, all the lights of heaven faded to make a single thing, a fire burning through the cold firs.
Then it wasn't possible any longer to stare at heaven and not be destroyed.
Are there souls that need death's presence, as I require protection?
I think if I speak long enough I will answer that question.
I will see whatever they see, a ladder reaching through the firs, whatever calls them to exchange their lives -- think what I understand already.
I woke up ignorant in a forest; only a moment ago, I didn't know my voice if one were given me would be so full of grief, my sentences like cries strung together.
I didn't even know I felt grief until that word came, until I felt rain streaming from me.

- Louise Gluck

Beautiful photo by Matt Callow

"Just waiting for the sun, for another chance to sing."

Finding a character for a show is always an adventure. There are constant lows and highs but along that journey, you find a small part of yourself that's been hiding, and then you find another small part, and then another, and then another, until you've built a character out of fragments of yourself. It's like you are giving yourself permission to come out and play and once you allow yourself that luxury, all you need is the truth of the moment.

I constantly have to remind myself, especially when under pressure to create, that I can only be a a character on a journey, and that's where the joy is. And this is why I love/hate acting - it forces you to take everything one step at a time.

2009: I've Learned...

...what networking means. Finally! This word makes sense.

...not to wait for everything to be in it's place to start something. Begin it, whatever it is, even if you feel you're not ready, and see where it takes you.

...you don't really change much at all from when you were little.

...you WILL get older. No matter what.

...friends are family.

...how important writing down every thought is, even if it's not fully developed.

...this city is full of determined and motivated people. It's really important to seek them out.

...there are many opportunities. Not all are good.

...to take one day at a time.

...what marketing really is. You must keep people interested in you. All the time.

...you HAVE to take risks.

...to do something everyday that scares you.

...art, music, dance, composing, singing, songwriting, acting, and pretty much everything is all about tension and release. My high school musical director used to always say that, and now it is all finally making sense.

...not to talk about it forever, but to just DO it.

The wind is so wild to the heavenly child

Themes of Hansel and Gretel. Been thinking a lot about them. Have not been writing in complete sentences today. When you are writing a song, everything seems to be in phrases.

Today, the whole show took sort of a turn in my head. The story is still in it's infancy, but it's definitely growing up.

Witches Have Red Eyes. And they can't see very far. That's the song I almost finished today. As of right now, it will be sung when Hansel and Gretel are planning their escape from the witch's house. The wind is so wild to the heavenly child. Little by little, we'll grow tired of this place. Only a moment we wanted to stay anyway. I want this song to convey a loss of childhood innocence while gaining strength through temptations and challenges. Hansel and Gretel left their home, as all of us are taught to do, to grow up and find their own way.

It's funny how some songs can be written in minutes and others written through the span of weeks. People ask me a lot what I write first, the lyrics or the music. It's always different. But for this musical, the lyrics have been coming out first. In a way, it's so easy to pull lyrics right out from the Grimms' story. The sentences are so dark and descriptive but very short and simple at the same time. There is so much imagery and symbolism that is exciting to play with in the original tale. Witches Have Red Eyes is based entirely on three sentences from the story.

The SparrowTree website (our theatre company) will be up very soon. In the near future, be on the look out for some music samples, pictures, and trailers for Hansel and Gretel, our first show!
Drawing of Hansel and Gretel by Angie Trygg