cagedmoon is where all the new posts are at

i stopped updating livingnowonladders for now because i can't have two blogs. that's too many to update. so go to cagedmoon.tumblr.com to see all new posts.
and maybe someday i will update livingnowonladders again. we'll see.

Oh the frustrations we found along the way

So just when you think things are going smoothly, someone comes and steals the laptop with the script on it. Just when you start to rewrite the script, the website does strange things that take hours to fix. Just when you think you can focus on your character, you have to pack up your apartment and move. Just when you are getting really close to someone, they leave on a moment's notice. So I must remind myself of the GOOD things happening right now: We have an awesome team of people that really care about our show. We have donations rolling in on kickstarter. We will have a yard at our new place! And the script might be even better because of this rewrite. Ok, off to pack some boxes. The show must go on.

create space

I had the privilege of hearing writer/director Craig Lucas speak last night at Atlantic Acting School. He said so many inspiring words that I really absorbed and can actually use today, tomorrow, and five years from now. One of my favorite things is to hear smart, creative, people talk about what they have learned in a non-intimidating way.

There are four things that will halt your productivity.
-other people's opinions, the past, drama, worry.

As a director, your job is to create space for actors to arrive at the right decision instead of telling them exactly what to do.

If you think you know something, you can't learn it.

People come to the theatre to see the mess of life. Color, behavior. When they leave, you don't necessarily want them talking about the beautiful sets or costumes, you want them thinking about how they connected their own life to what they just saw.

Surround yourself by talented people just starting out. Don't go after the big names just because they are big names.

The thinking of things that turn into songs

It's funny the randomness of thoughts, and the happenings around you that turn into new thoughts...music, ideas. In one way or another, these are the thoughts that have been floating around in my head, meeting and merging, and taking shape.

Sweeney Todd, split personalities, moving, identity, creating arcs in songs, carnivals, Sunset Rubdown's song "I'm Sorry I Sang on Your Hands That Have Been in the Grave," crazy Gretel film shoot

As a songwriter, I am trying to limit myself less and allow myself to create non-judgmentally.

look for this song soon on my website:

Feed me Sounds

measure me
let the light refract
how much have i grown
disturbance in the air distracts
may sun gone
fight with identity is lost and it's won

i see a left hand writing
it belongs to myself
it's cut off and sitting
sitting on a shelf
and i hear things
i hear things

i hear scary noises from the bottoms of chairs
rumbling under beds, and serpents under stairs

fuel me everything
and feed me sounds
fuel me everything
and feed me sounds

people
move forward with your things and ideas
hollowed out by fields of ideals

may sun gone
fight with identity is lost and it's won

Look out for dreams that keep returning

Some words for each of my current top albums

Devendra Banhart - What Will We Be: you know how when someone is so good, you’re filled with a flurry of confusion ranging anywhere from rage to complete and utter peace; oh devendra, if only i was you, or you were me…or we could at least meet

Mason Jennings - Blood of Man: i’ve been a mason jennings fan from day one and i love how each of his albums is so different than the last; here is a songwriter who is never afraid of being himself

Broken Bells - Broken Bells: i know we all have our feelings of ‘what happened to the shins?’ but i truly do love this album; it’s think it’s cool that james mercer sensed it was time for a change and decided to take a risk; my only worry is how immediate my love for it was - i tend to get bored with those albums quicker

Yeasayer - Odd Blood: you know when you just want to have a dance party? yep.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Up From Below: you know how when you love a band…and then you hear them on the radio…and then you want to hate them…because why would YOU listen to anything on the RADIO? that’s how it is. but just for the record…i’m in love again

www.cagedmoon.tumblr.com

Acoustic Versions

"Our wonderful composer, Carly Howard, has spent the last couple months orchestrating different parts for all of the songs for Hansel and Gretel. They are now mostly filled in with cello, glockenspiel, tambourine, drums. I love the way they sound, and with the help of our music director, David Harris (who also notated all of the music ) they will be filled in even more to produce a final sound that is rich and dynamic.

I just recently went back and listened to the very first recordings that Carly did for Haunted and Hunted and Witches Have Red Eyes. These acoustic demos are somehow refreshing in their simplicity. They are spirited and emotive and re-ignite my passion for this project all over again. On the website, you can now listen to the first ever recorded version of Witches Have Red Eyes, and then also listen to the orchestrated version."

Chad Howard taken from www.sparrowtree.org

There's A lot of You

new song up at www.carlyhoward.net

Signs for Sparrowtree.  Thanks to Angie for the stencil that she created.  These were harder to make than we thought but each one ended up being very unique from the one before it.  We never really knew what to expect once we spray painted and lifted the stencil up.  It was a moment of truth every time.  

Hansel and Gretel trailer

Hansel and Gretel Trailer from sparrowtree on Vimeo.

Footage and editing done by Chad Howard

Music by Garrison York (Open to the Hound) and Carly Howard

The Lobster Project

Cristina and Greg carried 15 live lobsters on the subway in one of the biggest pots I've ever seen. Then we had a lobster roll and champagne party! Kudos to Cristina, I would have never taken on this project...but because of her, I learned how to cook and dismember these creatures! Too bad we didn't have a way to deal with the 8 gallons of stock afterward.

Oh the Things We Found

some lyrics from my new song:

Oh the things we found along the way

Unless we believe them, they'll never be safe

Vast seas roll, tides and time won't be delayed

While the moon rules our bodies and all of our weight

Our secrets sleep in winter clothes

In honor of the first day of spring, here are some of my favorite winter memories, in random order.

Discovering 17 Frost.   There is a big difference between Manhattan open mics and Brooklyn open mics.  And an even bigger difference between regular Brooklyn open mics and awesome warehouses that you stumble across that no one really knows about with amazing sound equipment, projectors, screens, couches, and an art gallery.  Not only do the people actually care about sound there, they are supportive of a lot of different types of music and I feel so lucky that I have gotten to showcase my sound there without having to wait over 4 hours to play just two songs. 
Snowball fight 2010.  This was the first time I'd been involved in three consecutive snowball fights with perfect strangers.  The night of the big blizzard, Chad, Dustin, Garrison, Angie, and I ventured out to McCarren Park where there were giant snowmen, an igloo, and a lot of Brooklynites just waiting to throw snow around at random people. 
Cinderella.  My first lead in a musical since 2001.  I did come out here for a reason!  I love moments that prove that. 
Mark's Dinner Party.  (picture on right)  Delicious five course tasting menu provided by Cristina and Mark.  I didn't even hear one fight --I think they need to open a restaurant together!  And thanks to Mark's eclectic music taste, we had a dance party that involved Ace of Base and plenty of Disney. 
Christmas in Williamsburg.  This was our first Christmas in New York.  My parents (being the supportive, good sports that they are) flew out to see my holiday show and spend Christmas with Chad, Garrison and me.  Supportive, because it was the Tortoise and the Hare's Holiday Hoop-la (not the most riveting show I've ever done) and good sports because they ran 1 avenue block and 5 street blocks in record time to see Mary Poppins when the cab driver dropped us at the wrong intersection.  I loved having everyone at the apartment and just being together.  It was a much different feeling than spending Christmas in a big house where everyone is sort of spread out.  We opened our presents at night with all of the candles lit and I'll never forget that feeling of peacefulness that I had.   
New Years Party.  We all wrote down one thing we would leave behind and one thing we would take with us into the new year on slips of paper.  Then at midnight we burned them in Cristina's makeshift "fire bowl" on the roof of our apartment.  It started out with just the people from our party (which was an unexpected amount anyway) and ended up getting the attention of all of the parties on the roof.  We knew it was time to hide the fire bowl when someone asked if she could throw fireworks into it.  Mark, being the protective fire marshall he is, persuaded the girl into thinking that was not the best idea...haha.  Even though I wasn't able to fully play Auld Lang Syne on my guitar for everyone by the time it reached midnight, it was a grand Brooklyn New Years. 

First song for Hansel and Gretel is done! Listen at www.sparrowtree.org!

Witches Have Red Eyes, the third song in Hansel and Gretel, has now been completed! At this point, it’s the only song in the show to be mixed and recorded and ready for people to hear! One of my favorite musicians/singer/songwriters is Zach Condon of the group, Beirut. A lot of the music for this show is inspired by his sound. I am so grateful to the SparrowTree members for really pulling together and making this happen. It just wouldn’t have been the same without their help and passion for the project. This was truly a collaborative process, from Chad mixing to Dustin singing and Garrison playing the djembe.

Last Monday we all drove an hour out of the city to a forest to film some footage to go with the song. We were all freezing and looked rather insane I’m sure running through the forest (with Angie in her hooded witch cloak -- long, brown and tattered, Dustin in his knickers and knee socks, and Garrison running around chanting with a tambourine). We were all freezing by the end, but the finished product will be totally worth it. The video will be the next thing to go up on the site, so be sure to check back! This song is a great example of collaboration and teamwork and I’m so proud that we made it happen. Thank you SparrowTree!

A poem that inspired many songs

Tonight I was going through one of my notebooks. In college, I had a professor who always told us to write everything down, even if it might seem silly, just to get it out. Years later, I actually started doing this. I always used to hate writing things down. And if I did write things down, I would never go back and read them. But when I moved to New York, it was like I had no choice. This city pulls things out of you. This was a poem I fell in love with and wrote in my first "New York" notebook. Looking back at it now, I realize it has inspired many songs.

When I woke up I was in a forest.
The dark seemed natural, the sky through the pine trees thick with many lights.
I knew nothing; I could do nothing but see.
And as I watched, all the lights of heaven faded to make a single thing, a fire burning through the cold firs.
Then it wasn't possible any longer to stare at heaven and not be destroyed.
Are there souls that need death's presence, as I require protection?
I think if I speak long enough I will answer that question.
I will see whatever they see, a ladder reaching through the firs, whatever calls them to exchange their lives -- think what I understand already.
I woke up ignorant in a forest; only a moment ago, I didn't know my voice if one were given me would be so full of grief, my sentences like cries strung together.
I didn't even know I felt grief until that word came, until I felt rain streaming from me.

- Louise Gluck

Beautiful photo by Matt Callow

"Just waiting for the sun, for another chance to sing."

Finding a character for a show is always an adventure. There are constant lows and highs but along that journey, you find a small part of yourself that's been hiding, and then you find another small part, and then another, and then another, until you've built a character out of fragments of yourself. It's like you are giving yourself permission to come out and play and once you allow yourself that luxury, all you need is the truth of the moment.

I constantly have to remind myself, especially when under pressure to create, that I can only be a a character on a journey, and that's where the joy is. And this is why I love/hate acting - it forces you to take everything one step at a time.